Is Your Husband Stopping You From Decluttering?
I often get calls from wives needing help to clear the clutter from their home. Often they talk about how the clutter has built up over time living together. Both spouses might be bad at clearing the clutter or the cause might be due to one spouse. However, 9 out of 10 tell me that their husband tends to stop the house being decluttered and organized either by the wife or by a professional organizer, such as DeCluttr Me.There are many reasons why the husband might be stopping their wife from decluttering and organizing the house. Here are some of the factors and how to change them
:1. Let them be logicalMen love being logical (yep it is a painful truth that we have to accept), so if they do not see the reason for something, they won't want to take that action. When suggesting a declutter session, give them a logical reason on why they should consider your suggestion:"If we clear the storage room, it will enable us to pick up our suitcases quickly and easily when we go on a break, rather than swearing and tripping over the other items. What do you think?". When it comes to your kitchen you could use this as a reason to present to him: "It is important for me to have a clean, organized kitchen because it will motivate me to cook more".
2. Ask for their inputMen love to feel significant, as in they want to feel that they have a connection with you. If you ask them for their ideas before you start the decluttering and organizing rather than ordering them to assist, they will feel like you care about their input (plus they will feel significant - see the example above again!). By asking for their input, you are showing that you care about them and their feelings.
3. Be Patient It takes 21-30 days to create a habit, so asking your husband to change his behaviour and create a new organizing habit requires patience. We all have different thresholds of being messy and organized so we have to bear that in mind when trying to change the habits within the household.
4. Change the wordsDoes your husband visibly shiver when you use the "O" or "D" word? Then change it. Rather than suggest organizing or decluttering the storage room or garage, swap these two words with words and phrases such as "simplify", "cut the frills", "let daylight in", "streamline". They might see through your word usage, but it does work with some of my clients!
5. Do not take control of his stuffI bet you don't want someone to declutter your items without your permission, so the same logic has to be used for your other half. What you think might be a useless tool, might be the most important tool for your home. Let him go through his items and decide what should stay and what should go to "simplify" the area.
6. CompromiseA good example of compromising is by creating the distinction between common spaces and personal spaces. For example, if you designate the living and dining rooms as a common space, come to an agreement that these areas will be picked up after consistently and organized. If you designate the bedroom as a personal space, be okay with it not being clutter-free 100% of the time. Or that his part of the wardrobe may not be as decluttered and organized as your side.If you are facing blocks by your husband try these tips above and let me know if the husband is stopping you from decluttering still.
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