Improving your Listening Techniques
160228 Improving Your Listening Techniques
Listening is a vital skill whether you are in a restaurant, hotel or in a corporate office. There were many times I would talk to my legal assistants or even the CEO when I worked as a Solicitor and they would interrupt me or look blank faced as if they were not listening.
"There is a distinct difference between speaking to someone who is genuinely listening to you, and someone who is merely in attendance while thinking about what they want to say."
If you are the latter, you could be perceived as someone who is too busy thinking about themselves, too distracted and you will create negative memories and outcomes from your interactions with others. By listening genuinely the other person will have positive memories of the moment and will want to interact socially with you or even do business with you.The most important skill to gain whilst interacting with someone else is to attend to them. Here are my list of skills to help you improve your listening techniques:
Listen with your whole body - Nod occasionally, make eye contact and if you are in an office take notes. I always disliked it when my assistant would ask a question and then half listen and not write down what I was saying. Five minutes later they would be back to ask the same question again.
Silence your brain - which means don't start thinking about what story you are going to regale next; and really hear what the speaker is saying
Don't interrupt - Let the speaker speak and finish their train of thought. You might interrupt asking questions as you believe it is helpful, but it could derail them instead.
The Exception to the above - The only moment when I interrupt the speaker is if they talk for so long that it is obvious that they love the sound of their voice. Interrupt the speaker asking them a question to clarify their story such as "Wait. I don't understand. Did you drop the ball or the other person?". To ensure that you remain polite at all times, interrupt the soliloquy for the purpose of clarification. Even if you have no interest in their story, never be rude.
Share Personal Stories - stories are a powerful way to break down walls and build a relationship with the other person.
Pause Before you Reply - take a breathe to collect your thoughts before you reply. Silence is golden and not scary.
Don't Look at your Phone - There may be messages coming through on your phone, but don't let that distract you from the speaker. If you stop yourself from being distracted you will earn the speakers respect.
Speak Clearly and Slowly when Replying to the Speaker - how many times have you been in a restaurant and the waiter repeats your order at 200mph. You end up having to repeat your order yourself. Keep the momentum going of an easy flowing conversation by speaking clearly.
Listening Does not Mean Agreeing - you may not agree with the speaker but by listening you are showing respect to the other. Listening actually communications a willingness to communication only.
Try using these skills when you are at work whether you are dealing with a client, a customer or an co-worker and see if your interactions become more rewarding.If you would like your employees to improve their etiquette skills, contact us using the form here and we will be in touch as soon as possible.
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